I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
These tits shall not be calmed
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
