I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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