my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
