Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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