she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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