Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
