where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
