And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
