All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
