Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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