I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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