You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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