when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
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