That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
