He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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