So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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