walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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