His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
