I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
