he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
