I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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