Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
