If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
