she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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