Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
