He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i dont even know how to be here
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
