I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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