Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
