so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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