That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
