It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
