"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I AM VODKA MAN
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
COCAINE IS GR8
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
