What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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