i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
