did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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