we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
