ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
