alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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