I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Bring me that man meat
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
