If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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