i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize