i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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