i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
