I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
