hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
