I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
