Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
