we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
