I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
And then he peed in my hair
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