I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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