Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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