Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Less talking, more tequila
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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