As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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