i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
