I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
