Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
