very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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