We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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