I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
