i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
